Some days my anxiety is just a small voice in the back of my head,
Whispering a never ending list of things to do,
And people to avoid,
And ways that I keep messing everything up,
Other times- my anxiety feels like a millstone tied around my neck,
Dragging me down further and further into a soundless ocean,
The pressure crushing my chest,
Today,
It feels like there is something stuck in my throat,
And I keep checking my phone,
Wondering if suddenly my friends will come back,
Wondering if my family will acknowledge me,
Nothing changes,
I sometimes forget to breathe,
I don’t know how long I was holding my breath,
But I gasped and felt a rush of relief,
Sometimes my anxiety can be ignored,
And buried,
With the memories that my therapist has so graciously labeled “my triggers”,
And with all the fears my peers call irrational,
And with the depression that lurks at the end of every day,
But today is not one of those days,
Today- I feel everything.
By: Alyssa
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