Deep breathing doesn't seem to help,
So maybe a couple of cigarettes will,
I'll turn on my favorite songs,
As loud as they can go,
Anything to get out of my own head,
Because it's starting to get dark again,
I'm doing anything I can to escape,
I turn off my phone,
I take off down the highway,
Back to the town I used to hate,
Remembering every night I've had like this before,
Wondering how I ever managed,
If there were some secret I forgot,
To get out of my own brain,
Questions plague me,
I worry about getting hurt again,
So I stay closed off,
Not realizing until it's too late,
By doing this,
I've hurt myself,
What a mess I've made,
I just want to turn off that part of my mind,
The one that makes me insecure and scared,
I want to open up to you,
I want you to accept the mess I am,
I want you to see the loving soul I have,
But my demons keep you at bay,
With constant need for reassurance,
The first light of the day catches me off guard,
Looks like I've spent another night thinking too much,
Questioning every word I've said,
And worrying about the things I can't control,
But I know that it's a new day,
I can breathe through the anxiety,
And hang back to see how this plays out.
By: Alyssa
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