All of These Things

I want to cry, 

But I won't let myself, 

Not when I know you will see me, 

I want to scream, 

But I can't seem to speak, 

Not when I know what the words would do to you, 

I don't want to feel like I'm constantly lied to,

Like the ground I thought we were walking on is suddenly gone, 

I don't want to hear that you don't feel like an equal partner, 

When I bend over backwards to give you everything you want, 

I don't want to keep living this way, 

Hiding my feelings, 

Biting my tongue, 

I just want to be happy, 

I want all the things we dreamed of, 

I want all those plans to come together, 

But now I don't know what is real, 

I only know that in the midst of frustration,

You lash out, 

Claiming the status of a martyr,  

Telling me I do nothing for you, 

Twisting my words into your favor, 

I want to fall to pieces, 

But I won't, 

I can't, 

I want to tell you all of these things, 

But I fear the worst, 

That you will not come back.

By: Alyssa