Internal Conflict

I'm constantly conflicted,

At war with the fears in my mind,

And the love in my heart,

I find myself staring up at an empty sky,

Searching for the antidote,

To my pessimistic ways,

Hoping that there's a cure,

That doesn't require,

Me losing who I am,

And the drinks haven't changed the way I feel,

And the cigarettes don't burn quite like they used to,

My old ways just leave me empty,

I just don't want to find myself on my knees,

Begging to some deity,

Who's never given a damn about me,

So instead- I'll take a walk,

Alone at night,

Down the country road no one knows,

And there I'll try to ditch these fears,

And there I'll try to remember the love I have,

And there I'll try to be honest with myself,

I'm in conflict,

My pessimistic thoughts of everything around me,

Just don't mix with my romantic soul.

By: Alyssa