How many more times will I write the same kinds of lines?
The only thing that is different are the arrangements of words and the rhymes,
I spill my heart out loud and on paper,
Just to be rejected or called a name,
I put myself out there and seek comfort,
But all I find is embarrassment and shame,
How many more times can my heart bounce back from this?
I'm starting to forget the upside of searching for happiness,
I feel like I'm going nowhere,
Each day that passes feels like years,
I feel like I'm losing this battle,
I can tell because there are no longer any tears,
I rationalize with myself a hundred times during a single day,
Fighting questions like, "Do you really need a plan?",
Pushing off phrases like, "Maybe you should just pack and run away",
How many more times will I write the same lines?
How many more times will I reach out for support and find nothing but shame?
How many more times can my heart bounce back?
How many more times can I fight off my conscience?
How many more times before I just give up?
How many more times before I pack up and leave without a trace?
I can't say with any certainty,
But I'll mark today as another victory.
By: Alyssa
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